Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Lighten step

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*
Your hair is not brown1
thoughts of belated Messiah
lighten step

**
by the window
tranquil palms in our eyes
keeping balance

***
we dream
pre vailed underlying yet
quantum leap



1 The line from Paul Celan poem "Your hand"  .

Read more at CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI , where our host/guru  Chevrefeuille   introducing 'leap linkage' haiku technique. Thank you!


26 comments:

  1. Oh! If only all of us could take that leap to tranquility in more than our dreams and more than our churches. If only we took others with us. I love the hands and the palms--outside trees and the giving part of the hand.

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  2. Wow. Very succinct, but there is a lot in there to pry apart.

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  3. Ah. They are so good. I really liked the middle one: "tranquil palms in our eyes/keeping balance".
    -HA

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  4. Dream and take that leap, never know how far one can get

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  5. Nothing more tranquil than palms waving in the breeze.

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  6. I truly like the last one best. All three are exceptional but the last one...wow.

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  7. It is amazing how palm trees do make one feel tranquil. Not sure why that is.

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  8. Nothing is impossible when dreaming...even I might leap again!

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  9. Love the palms and quantum leap...great write!

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  10. Like that second thought..the palm trees keeping the balance...visually and in our minds...

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  11. Interesting form I am not familiar with. Thanks for sharing this. Well penned. And thank you for commenting on my poem as well.

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  12. A nice treat this post Humbird, three wonderful haiku. Your second is my favorite. You have used leap linking in a very nice way ...

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    1. Thank you, Kristjaan! Much appreciate your words! I keep learning....

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  13. I especially like the traquil palms.

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  14. The opening line offers such possibility for exploration which you have shown here...quantum leaps of imagination certainly lighten the step

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  15. Thank you for comments, my friends! Much Love!

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  16. There's a lot in these few lines ~ takes a few re-reads. Beautiful imagery.

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  17. short and sweet love it. thanks for your comment on mine Humbird. :D

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  18. a lovely interpretation of the theme ... lots to ponder on here - Bastet

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  19. An inventive take on the prompt. I found the laconic nature of the form and your careful choice of words made me stop, think and become tranquil as I searched for layers of meaning!

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