Saturday, October 3, 2015

Recollection

Sabin Balasa. Freedom in the Aquarium, n.d. WikiArt


The fort open wood gate
uneven sand paths

When sun swiftly surfed
beneath pastel skies

Free versed we cruised
as the black swans of sea

In earthy aquarium
the splatters of we.

*

Sun surfing.
Aquarium. Earth.
Reversed time
cruised under
focal, the pastel blue sky -
reminiscing joy.


Notes: The last 6 lines - shadorma 3/5/3/3/7/5

Read more at: B&P's Shadorma & Beyond: Shadorma Summation

Shared with PU Poetry Pantry

54 comments:

  1. I feel so sad for the fish. So close to freedom and yet so far. I t goes well with the pic from yesterday as well.

    Remembering joy - hopefully we can live it again.

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    1. Sometimes we feel like a fish in aquarium, and not able to see further than that..

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  2. Stuck i a fish bowl can sure zap the joy away, but sometimes have to make due

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    1. Oh, yep, so when stuck will try to make the most of less maybe....thanks

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  3. Yes we are all in the big aquarium of earth.
    I read once that at least Goldfish only had a 3 second memory...
    but then another study dispelled that.
    We can make our days filled with joy so we can use the fish bowl of our memories later.

    Thank you for a lovely Shadorma Summation. I have at least one to add later in the day or week. I want to see what everyone else post first ;)

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    1. Ah, love your shadorma and verse very much, Jules! Thanks for idea and interesting fish memory timing.

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  4. Love the writing here. The image though intriguing leaves me with too many other options I would want to explore.

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    1. You're right. Of course, other options are very intriguing... Thanks!

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  5. Sad that the fish in the aquarium only reminisce about joy that once was rather than experiencing it in their confining tank.

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    1. If we remembering the joy, we can repeat the visual of it in future....Thank you, Mary!

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  6. Such a palpable longing for freedom and joy...!!

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  7. You got me worried! I have a fish tank and the fish aren't in solitary confinement. They actually have their own houses and areas that they mark off and a communal area to just hang out. Hope they are happy...awww:((
    Lovely piece...

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    1. Hope they are....thank you, Panchali.

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  8. Ah, the feeling of cruising "free versed". What a wonderful image!

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  9. Love the cruising free versed.. the dreams of fishes in aquariums and the caged birds maybe.

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    1. Yea, maybe get rid of them at once! ~ Thanks!

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  10. Lovely finish especially here - "reminiscing joy" Very nice work... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com

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  11. "Sun surfing" and "Reminiscing joy" - lovely.

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  12. Torture to be so close to the sea and just get to oogle it.
    Fantastic shadorma

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    1. Thanks for the compliment, Leslie!

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  13. Oh what do the fish dream in those aquariums near the sea? I feel a long shot on film and then a swift focus in to the little space they have left.

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    1. Swim or not to swim.... ~ thank you, Susan!

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  14. What a very cool form this shadorma....and the photo is evocative....aren't we all feeling caged or caught at one time maybe 'reminiscing joy'.

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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    1. Yea...clinging for the moment is the very popular among people. Thank you, Donna!

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  15. "In earthly aquariums
    The splatter of we"

    Luv those 2 lines so much. Freedom and containment. Maybe they go hand in hand

    Have a nice Sunday

    Much love...

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    1. Maybe. it's nice to feel, to know how to dispose the freedom... Happy week!

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  16. Beautifully sketched and imbued with lovely nuances.

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  17. I love your pastel colors: blue and pink. rightfully placed.

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  18. Curiously we are all stuck in our own aquariums and don't realize it. Th e fish in the bowl might well be in two minds whether to stay safe and be fed or risk going it alone. It is a constant question for us all. Mankind has however always been a risk taker.

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    1. I like this idea of trying both! wise and creative! Thank you!

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  19. cruising free versed...I like that image. Sometimes, we stick ourselves in a fish bowl when we could have the whole ocean. Spencer is Kanzensakura

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    1. To whole ocean indeed! ~ Thank you!

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  20. The picture really captures a feeling...as sometimes we feel contained yet we yearn to swim that ocean..the trick I guess it to find joy in your own corner of the world

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    1. Maybe, this is a good solution, but we sometimes curious about surroundings, we, human beings...

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  21. A heart-rending verse ... and I like that you chose the picture from last week's prompt ... a very effective auxiliary to your write. Bravo Humbird. Bastet

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  22. the fish is a good metaphor for us...we are so stuck in our own world that we can't even dream of a sea..."Sun surfing"...love this...

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  23. I love the idea of surfing in free-verse - I love it all of it including the image... :)

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    1. So many ideas...glad you like it too :)

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  24. A bright fun feel to this poem.

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    1. Yea, the colors, the season really bring joy. Thanks.

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  25. I felt sad when I saw the picture. Your poem, surfing through free verse is beautiful. A little sad too, but your use and combination of words made me happy.

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    1. It seems, the fish doesn't know it supposed to be sad...free surfing brings variations....~ Thank you.

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