Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Lighten step

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*
Your hair is not brown1
thoughts of belated Messiah
lighten step

**
by the window
tranquil palms in our eyes
keeping balance

***
we dream
pre vailed underlying yet
quantum leap



1 The line from Paul Celan poem "Your hand"  .

Read more at CARPE DIEM HAIKU KAI , where our host/guru  Chevrefeuille   introducing 'leap linkage' haiku technique. Thank you!


Written for PU Mid-Week Motif "Tranquility" 
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26 comments:

  1. SusanNovember 4, 2015 at 12:57 PM

    Oh! If only all of us could take that leap to tranquility in more than our dreams and more than our churches. If only we took others with us. I love the hands and the palms--outside trees and the giving part of the hand.

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  2. Rob JacksonNovember 4, 2015 at 1:26 PM

    Wow. Very succinct, but there is a lot in there to pry apart.

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  3. AnonymousNovember 4, 2015 at 1:48 PM

    Ah. They are so good. I really liked the middle one: "tranquil palms in our eyes/keeping balance".
    -HA

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  4. Pat HattNovember 4, 2015 at 1:49 PM

    Dream and take that leap, never know how far one can get

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  5. Sanaa RizviNovember 4, 2015 at 2:01 PM

    Wow! Beautifully written :D :D

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  6. MaryNovember 4, 2015 at 2:18 PM

    Nothing more tranquil than palms waving in the breeze.

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  7. tonispencerNovember 4, 2015 at 2:43 PM

    I truly like the last one best. All three are exceptional but the last one...wow.

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  8. Sherry Blue SkyNovember 4, 2015 at 2:58 PM

    It is amazing how palm trees do make one feel tranquil. Not sure why that is.

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  9. Purba chakrabortyNovember 4, 2015 at 2:59 PM

    Beautifully written. Loved it :)

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  10. Old EggNovember 4, 2015 at 6:50 PM

    Nothing is impossible when dreaming...even I might leap again!

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  11. HannahNovember 4, 2015 at 6:58 PM

    Love the palms and quantum leap...great write!

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  12. AnonymousNovember 4, 2015 at 7:48 PM

    Like that second thought..the palm trees keeping the balance...visually and in our minds...

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  13. PeggyNovember 4, 2015 at 9:36 PM

    Interesting form I am not familiar with. Thanks for sharing this. Well penned. And thank you for commenting on my poem as well.

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  14. ChèvrefeuilleNovember 4, 2015 at 10:03 PM

    A nice treat this post Humbird, three wonderful haiku. Your second is my favorite. You have used leap linking in a very nice way ...

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    Replies
    1. humbirdNovember 5, 2015 at 7:34 AM

      Thank you, Kristjaan! Much appreciate your words! I keep learning....

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  15. VictoriaNovember 4, 2015 at 10:13 PM

    I especially like the traquil palms.

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  16. Jae RoseNovember 5, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    The opening line offers such possibility for exploration which you have shown here...quantum leaps of imagination certainly lighten the step

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  17. humbirdNovember 5, 2015 at 7:35 AM

    Thank you for comments, my friends! Much Love!

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  18. Carol CampbellNovember 5, 2015 at 9:10 AM

    Serenity! Love these!

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  19. 21 WitsNovember 5, 2015 at 11:34 AM

    Lovely, it reads like a song!

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  20. claireyloveNovember 5, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    There's a lot in these few lines ~ takes a few re-reads. Beautiful imagery.

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  21. J.N.T.November 5, 2015 at 8:47 PM

    short and sweet love it. thanks for your comment on mine Humbird. :D

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  22. Bastet's Waka LibraryNovember 5, 2015 at 11:22 PM

    a lovely interpretation of the theme ... lots to ponder on here - Bastet

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  23. Reading PleasureNovember 6, 2015 at 5:37 AM

    Amazing set!

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  24. IntelliblogNovember 10, 2015 at 11:21 PM

    An inventive take on the prompt. I found the laconic nature of the form and your careful choice of words made me stop, think and become tranquil as I searched for layers of meaning!

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