Sunday, April 6, 2014

Unit of whole

'Girl on a swing' by V. Ruppert
'Girl on a swing' by V. Ruppert


The girl was swinging back and forth, back and forth…
as no barrier – the fence on the way.
Flying above the neighbor yard she had noticed a peacock
with pleated tail (accordion style).
The bird suspended for sec, unzipping the tail in deep reverence, and its waterfall of diamond eyes has dazzled the girl!
She moved the body awkwardly, lost a power…
The tough strap saved the life.

ourprinceofpeace.com


Read more at: Sunday Whirl.

Shared with PU, Poetry Pantry
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22 comments:

  1. kaykualaApril 6, 2014 at 10:05 AM

    Beautifully described humbird! She is saved fortunately! Wonderful write!

    Hank

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  2. Pat HattApril 6, 2014 at 10:20 AM

    Saved and gawked at by a peacock

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  3. Audrey Howitt aka DivaloungerApril 6, 2014 at 10:46 AM

    Loved this --especially the feel of it--beautiful and optomistic

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  4. Jae RoseApril 6, 2014 at 10:56 AM

    What a shock..but still fun..we can handle peacocks when we're young!

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  5. Brian MillerApril 6, 2014 at 11:15 AM

    it got scary for a second there...i am glad she was saved
    because i was enjoying her freedom on that swing...

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  6. Kerry O'ConnorApril 6, 2014 at 11:31 AM

    I loved to swing as a girl and your words remind me why - such a sense of freedom.

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  7. ZQApril 6, 2014 at 12:07 PM

    Awesome!
    ZQ

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  8. UnknownApril 6, 2014 at 12:26 PM

    Beautiful imagery conveyed in few simple lines.

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  9. Sumana RoyApril 6, 2014 at 1:20 PM

    dramatic...there was such tense moments....amazing that you've done this in so few words...

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  10. brudbergApril 6, 2014 at 2:14 PM

    Freedom has its dangers.. and being bedazzled by that peacock is not necessary the best thing for a young girl....

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  11. Sherry Blue SkyApril 6, 2014 at 2:40 PM

    This is an original vignette - girl on a swing and a peacock! Cool!

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  12. MaryApril 6, 2014 at 3:01 PM

    Thank goodness for the tough strap! Liked the theme of the poem, Humbird.

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  13. AnonymousApril 6, 2014 at 3:07 PM

    The peacock's waterfall of diamond eyes has dazzled me before, too. Love that line of yours. Well wordled.

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  14. AnonymousApril 6, 2014 at 3:09 PM

    A most creative piece of writing!

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  15. Old EggApril 6, 2014 at 4:17 PM

    As a child I remember closing my eyes when on a swing. This is delicious sensation. You don't need peacocks over the fence then!

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  16. Andy SewinaApril 6, 2014 at 4:18 PM

    Phew, that was a close call! Love the motion here, back and forth, back and forth.

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  17. TruedessaApril 6, 2014 at 5:32 PM

    I loved the feeling of swinging as a child and as an adult..some tension in the poem helps create the feel of momentum on the swing.

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  18. AdamApril 6, 2014 at 7:49 PM

    beautiful drawing of the peafowl

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  19. humbirdApril 6, 2014 at 8:58 PM

    Thank you, my friends! Enjoyed your comments! Have a happy week :)xx

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  20. SusanApril 7, 2014 at 2:31 PM

    Ha! The male peacock intends to dazzle! Thank God for the safeguards that keep the little ones happy and safe.

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  21. GabriellaApril 7, 2014 at 3:41 PM

    I am glad 'you' saved this little energetic girl!

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  22. KerridwenApril 8, 2014 at 5:21 AM

    I recognized the Sunday Whirl immediately! I like what you did with it - I found it quite difficult. :)

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