Sunday, April 6, 2014

Unit of whole

 'Girl on a swing' by V. Ruppert
'Girl on a swing' by V. Ruppert


The girl was swinging back and forth, back and forth…
as no barrier – the fence on the way.
Flying above the neighbor yard she had noticed a peacock
with pleated tail (accordion style).
The bird suspended for sec, unzipping the tail in deep reverence, and its waterfall of diamond eyes has dazzled the girl!
She moved the body awkwardly, lost a power…
The tough strap saved the life.

ourprinceofpeace.com


Read more at: Sunday Whirl.

Shared with PU, Poetry Pantry

22 comments:

  1. Beautifully described humbird! She is saved fortunately! Wonderful write!

    Hank

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  2. Saved and gawked at by a peacock

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  3. Loved this --especially the feel of it--beautiful and optomistic

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  4. What a shock..but still fun..we can handle peacocks when we're young!

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  5. it got scary for a second there...i am glad she was saved
    because i was enjoying her freedom on that swing...

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  6. I loved to swing as a girl and your words remind me why - such a sense of freedom.

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  7. Beautiful imagery conveyed in few simple lines.

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  8. dramatic...there was such tense moments....amazing that you've done this in so few words...

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  9. Freedom has its dangers.. and being bedazzled by that peacock is not necessary the best thing for a young girl....

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  10. This is an original vignette - girl on a swing and a peacock! Cool!

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  11. Thank goodness for the tough strap! Liked the theme of the poem, Humbird.

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  12. The peacock's waterfall of diamond eyes has dazzled me before, too. Love that line of yours. Well wordled.

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  13. A most creative piece of writing!

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  14. As a child I remember closing my eyes when on a swing. This is delicious sensation. You don't need peacocks over the fence then!

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  15. Phew, that was a close call! Love the motion here, back and forth, back and forth.

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  16. I loved the feeling of swinging as a child and as an adult..some tension in the poem helps create the feel of momentum on the swing.

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  17. beautiful drawing of the peafowl

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  18. Thank you, my friends! Enjoyed your comments! Have a happy week :)xx

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  19. Ha! The male peacock intends to dazzle! Thank God for the safeguards that keep the little ones happy and safe.

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  20. I am glad 'you' saved this little energetic girl!

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  21. I recognized the Sunday Whirl immediately! I like what you did with it - I found it quite difficult. :)

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